Controversially

I don't have anyone to leave my child with - what can you do with me?


Almost every article on raising a child brings "wise advice" - take care of yourself, do not give up on yourself, your own relationship. Take care of your pleasures, go out on dates with your husband, leave the children - have fun. Absolutely not try to relax "on an adult basis" with children, no parties with alcohol when the child is watching. It can be even without alcohol, parties are loud, strangers, children must have time to sleep, this is not the place for them ... You Mother, Father, you should understand that. Therefore, go out without children.

"Fine. I will gladly do so, but who will look after our children? Are you willing? The problem is that I have no one to leave my children with. ”These dilemmas do not come from the moon. They concern thousands of parents in Poland. All those who do not have a grandmother or grandfather willing to help and who cannot afford a babysitter.

The problem with going out together is not a fad. It's a real need to take care of your relationship. The desire to spend a few moments with her husband should not be seen in the category of luxury. Meanwhile, this is how it is perceived in Polish reality.

Grandmothers are out of the question

Grandmother's institution does not always function as expected by parents of young children. Not necessarily the "fault" of grandmothers or grandparents, but of other priorities or so-called higher powers.

It happens very often that grandmother has a different view on raising grandchildren, I do not want to look after them, do not decide on any parental support. It also happens that grandmother looks after children while parents are at work and asking her for help to go out together is seen as an "exaggeration."

Grandmothers and grandparents politely and firmly refuse to look after their grandchildren, even occasionally. For some, this is shocking and evokes internal opposition - how is it, after all, the grandmother's institution is there to be and provide support. Others think that grandmothers don't have to do anything. They had their children and raised them. Grandchildren are not their business.

Grandmothers often they don't want to help because they feel tired of raising their own children. They assume that they have completed this stage. They accept Sunday lunches together, but do not feel the need to stay with their grandchildren when there are no parents next to them. There is no shortage of older ladies who simply also complain about the "new style of upbringing" and the lack of "obedience" of children and they do not want to accept the conditions and style set by the parents. They notice that "today's children are difficult" and although they love them with all their heart, they do not decide to be responsible for being with them.

There are also grandmothers and grandparents tired, not physically fitwho are afraid that they simply cannot do it because their condition does not allow them. There are also grandparents willing to help, but unavailable for various reasons - because of professional commitments or travel plans - visiting the world in retirement.

Grandchildren and grandmothers they often share huge distances. It also happens that grandchildren do not have grandparents ...

Reasons why grandmother or grandfather are not able to help parents, even on an ad hoc basis, on the occasion of Saturday's exit, there are really many. Is there another option? Of course…

Guardian too expensive

There are always expenses. When you have children, there are quite a lot of them. Average salaries cannot withstand the weight of the needs of all family members. Therefore, naturally, parents often give up their own to satisfy the desires of others.

When the calculation of the cost of paying the babysitter at the evening departure begins (from 10 to 30 zlotys per hour - depends on the region of Poland), excuses begin not to use this option. Thinking turns on - "I don't have to leave, there are more important things ..."

Finding the right person can also be a problem, which is not so simple. Appropriate candidates for babysitters are usually employed, engaged in other jobs and in their free time they dream of resting and not watching over the health and well-being of children ...

Another mother

The problem could be solved by another mother who will look after our children in exchange for the same when she wants to go out with the children herself. The perfect option?

This solution has many advantages, but unfortunately it can be difficult for young children - taking care of a larger group of babies with another mother's baby can be a great challenge. Okay, you can wait out the most sensitive period to go on a date with your husband when the kids are bigger ...

After all, the older children, the simpler theoretically. Traps? Unfortunately, they do not end at pre-school stage, when the children are sick a lot. And according to Murphy's Laws this happens especially often when tired parents finally intend to leave the house alone, then the toddler gets a high temperature or a stomach ache ...

It remains to wait for the children to grow up and be able to stay alone at home. Or maybe it's not so bad at all? What does it look like for you?